god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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