My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
