During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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