Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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