She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
