Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My vagina is very pro this idea
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