Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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