My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am available for nakedness
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
