She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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