i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
