Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
