i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
