It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
