He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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