Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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