marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
