He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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