So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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