So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
