It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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