I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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