mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
