ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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