and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I party with great urgency now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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