He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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