Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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