my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
