it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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