sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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