why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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