I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
