Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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