Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
