i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
