I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
