I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
