so explain again why im purple
no
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
