i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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