So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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