I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
