She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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