Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
try to milk me bitch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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