took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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