A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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