turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
