This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
