So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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