nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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