so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
