Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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