Are we in a gay sports bar?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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