it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
